I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
