I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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