Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
