i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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