Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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