my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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