I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day šš#pensacolaproblems
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Thanks for going with me today. Itās been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
Itās called āshopping for lingerieā and itās one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
