i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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