Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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