Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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