My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
