I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize