Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
