I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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