Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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