I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
