HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
