Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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