I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
