Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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