There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize