Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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