he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
