I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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