adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
