Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
