She's JV to your varsity
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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