I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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