Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
