There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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