I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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