Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
