cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
