4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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