She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
