Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
