Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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