I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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