So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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