question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
