try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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