69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize