Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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