I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
