just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
