She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
