Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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