Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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