apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
