i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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