it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
