But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
