was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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