why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
