New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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