with your own penis?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
