no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We just shotgunned beers for America
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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