my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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