Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
