my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
