I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
