I met the friendliest cop last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
