Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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