so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
What a dumb baby whore.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
