if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize