she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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